2024 Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross Noir
Price: $38,298 CAD
Colour: Tarmac Black Pearlescent
Mitsubishi is a brand I have a history with and a fundamental respect for. No matter how their 90’s sports cars were badged up here in the Great White North, I knew who made them and respected vehicles like the Eclipse (Eagle Talon in Canada) and the 3000GT (Dodge Stealth in Canada). They were good looking sports cars that offered real performance. During my latter years in high school, a friend got a Talon TSi AWD manual. For a poor kid from government housing, this thing was a Ferrari. We’d go for drives at lunch and occasionally after school and I’ll never forget how great it drove as my friend threw it around corners with reckless abandon we haven’t been afforded since the 90’s. This time coincided with my burgeoning love of cars, and it left a mark. The following 30 years then have been a rather crushing disappointment. Combine Mitsubishi’s seemingly endless business problems with a rapidly evolving car market and we find ourselves with a company that is a shell of its former self. Their current lineup consists of 3 middling SUV’s and one little hatchback that nobody buys unless they have to. Right in the middle of this lineup is the Eclipse Cross. It’s an extremely conventional 5-passenger SUV that, sadly, exemplifies everything that’s wrong with the Mitsubishi of today. There is no thrill here. No spark or passion and no life beyond it’s inherent need to tick a bunch of boxes on a checklist titled “Homogenous 5-Passenger SUV Design Requirements”. If they had at least bothered to fill those boxes with quality design and components I could almost forgive them for bowing to the unrelenting pressures of the market. Instead, they crammed in whatever remnant parts they had in the scrap bin and have the temerity to call this thing a quality product. To make it even worse, in a crass marketing exercise they resurrected one of the marquee nameplates for this disappointment. Now the Eclipse really is dead.
I know, I’m being harsh. At first glance in fact, the Eclipse Cross actually gave me hope. It’s objectively a good-looking vehicle. I’ll give it a pass for being extremely conservative in its design as most vehicles of this type are. It’s when you climb inside that reality starts to come home to roost. Like I said earlier, it’s all here. It has most of the equipment you’d expect in a modern family hauler but as soon as your gaze hits the infotainment screen you know you’re in trouble. I made note of the stone-aged infotainment systems in vehicles like the MX-5 and 4Runner (since updated with the new generation). Those systems are as bad as the relic you get in the Eclipse Cross, but in those vehicles, they are minor blemishes on otherwise exquisite canvases. The Eclipse Cross is, by comparison, a scrap piece of paper that’s been doodled on. The cheap-skate design doesn’t end at the infotainment, just have a look at the dash cluster. I haven’t seen something like this in 15 years. Mitsubishi clearly had a bunch of these things sitting out the back of the assembly plant in rain-soaked boxes and decided “Hey, we don’t respect ourselves or our customers, let’s use these in that new SUV we’re making, nobody will notice or care.” Not only is this unit outdated but its functionality is poor, and the layout is cumbersome and confusing. None of this is as bad as the way this car drives. My wife has a 2019 Nissan Kicks which I hate with the white-hot intensity of a food critic forced to have lunch at Freshii. I’ve spoken often of how poorly that car drives and how it consumes a little part of my soul and inspiration every time I climb behind the wheel. Incredibly, that car drives better than the Eclipse Cross. The drivetrain is so soggy and slow you get no feedback whatsoever. There’s no thrill or inspiration when you put your foot down. Instead, the idiotic CVT revs the nuts off the wheezy 1.5L Turbo while searching for the best place to put down the power. Agonizing seconds later it picks the worst spot to engage and you’ve missed your opportunity take that gap that could have saved you time on your way to work. An Eclipse in SUV form this most certainly is not.
I could continue beating up on the Eclipse Cross but mercifully I’m approaching my word count requirement for this review, and I can now stop talking about it. One quick thing before I go. For all these vehicles failings I would actually consider buying one as an everyday tool – if it was remotely priced right. Incredibly, Mitsubishi gives us this parts bin monster bearing a once great name plate for no reason other than cynical marketing purposes and then asks us to pay nearly $40,000 as tested. Even in the current market there are a lot of options at that price point. This Noir model is close to the top end and despite the price point you get nothing but cosmetic bits and pieces. No engine upgrades, no performance enhancements, just a demand for more money. There’s room in the market for a budget friendly, AWD SUV that can haul 5 people. In fact, that’s what Mitsubishi has made here. They just forgot the budget friendly part. I want the Mitsubishi of the past. I want the company that made cars driven by inspiration and passion. I want them to cast off the shackles of their past troubles and show us, their customers, the respect we deserve. Give us a great car like the 90’s Eclipse or 3000GT and if you must give us a box ticking vehicle like the Eclipse Cross either make it cheap or make it a good.
